"Malapropisms!!"

Malapropisms are, to me, the FUNNIEST kind of humor!!  Ironically, as our society dumbs down more and more, there seem to be LESS Malapropisms out there.  See, you can't think it's funny when people use the WRONG word, unless you know the RIGHT word.  I, personally, have deliberately done Malapropisms for younger people and, as I wait for a response I get a blank look because they don't realize I intentionally used the wrong word!!



In any event, the BEST Malapropisms, in my opinion, were done by Archie Bunker of TV's "All In The Family" in the 1970s.

SOME people (like myself) "do" Malapropisms DELIBERATELY, to try to be funny, but ARCHIE did them UNINTENTIONALLY.   And that helped viewers see that EVERYTHING (including his racist remarks) were done in ignorance.  This helped to make his racist humor more palatable and gave it CONTEXT.

Anyway, here are a few of Archie's classic Malapropisms that I've retrieved from the internet (I've weeded out RISQUE samples, so that's why some numbers are missing)....

1) Archie asks “what’s that smell” Gloria tells him that her friend Robin is burning incense. “It smells like a house of ill–refute.”

2)“They want people like your mother on the jury because they know she doesn’t have any pre-conscrewed ideas”

3) “It’s a well known fact that capital punishment is a detergent to crime!”

4) Mike says, “It’s just pelvic construction women are built differently” Archie answers, “Oh please don’t draw me no diaphragms“

6) Talking about rioting in California. “Just look at that, bricks and bottles. It’s a regular insuruption.”

7) “Back in my day we learned to keep things in their proper suspective.”

8) “You and that bleeding heart Reverend Fletcher sittin’ up there in that ivory shower.”

9) “Dear Mr. President, your Honor, Sir. As one of your faithful constituionals.”

10) Mike and Archie argue, “It’s not irreverent to the conversation.” Mike corrects him ‘irrelevant” Archie says “What ever, it’s not German to the conversation.”

11) “Come on straighten this place up. Do you want people to think you live in a pig’s eye.”

14) “You think I was Lazarus rising up from the bed.”

15) “… And I don’t need no change from the humdrum morning fare you just immunerated”