It happened again today!! Someone told me how pleasantly surprised they were that "in this day and age" I "stuck with" my first wife after we learned she was terminally ill and took care of her for her final two years before she died. I've been hearing "compliments" like this on and off for four years now, and I'm tired of it.
Now...it's always meant as a compliment....when someone says things like this I smile and truthfully state something about "it's only the grace of God working in me that I could do that." I sincerely thank the commenter for what THEY see as kind words, but I don't share ALL of my feelings. You see, in my heart and mind, I'm troubled by questions such as these: "Is THIS how people think wedding vows are today....that when you promise IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, TILL DEATH DO YOU PART" it's ONLY pretty words?? Has America sunk so low that a LOYAL spouse is the exception, and not the rule?? Is it THAT bad that you get credit now for merely doing what generations before us did without blinking an eye?? And, the most haunting question of all: Do people expect EVERYONE to be so shallow, or is it just ME they expected to bail?"
Well, IF anyone thought I'd bail when a cancer diagnosis came BECAUSE it was me, they had no reason to!! Beth was my first wife at that point and we'd stayed married for 38 years, through thick and thin. I am NOT boasting about that....A.) It is only because of GOD that our marriage lasted that long and B.) The Bible COMMANDS Christians like me to make marriage last, with His help, unless the spouse commits adultery. Jesus also said that when we have done everything we've been commanded to do, to say that we are "unprofitable servants." In other words, there is no room for boasting. I only mentioned the 38 years (before Beth's death ended our marriage) to show that I had a track record of "sticking it out" and so no one SHOULD have been "pleasantly surprised" that I did so right until the very end.
So when did it EVER become part of many people's thought process that a husband might leave his terminally ill wife?? I think I have an answer.
Near as I can figure, when that Democrat creep JOHN EDWARDS (pictured) famously left HIS wife Elizabeth when SHE was ill, it triggered this new "acceptability" or (better yet) desensitizing to this "Deathbed Desertion." Edwards, you'll recall, ran for Vice President in 2004 and for President in 2008 so his sin was WELL-PUBLICIZED. And sadly, many men thought he did the right thing and some imitated his sinful behavior, using him as "cover." Your wife gets cancer?? LEAVE...she's on the way out, anyway became the "new way" for many. (I say NO way to the "new way")!!
The title of this blog asks a question: "Whatever Happened to IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, TILL DEATH DO US PART?" The answer is, sadly, it is not "in vogue" anymore to take that pledge seriously. Oh, people still use the traditional LANGUAGE when they get married, but very few really take that commitment AS commitment when they speak it, or when they hear it. (Frankly, I believe that many who cry at weddings now are REALLY crying because weddings make them recall people they know who HAVEN'T remained faithful). And it's sad how casually people make promises they DON'T intend to keep.
Another question might be "Now that we've admitted that TILL DEATH DO US PART is so rare these days, what do we do about it? "The answer is simple and obvious. Pray.....and keep your word. Psalm 15 describes the righteous man as one who sticks to what he swore to do even when it hurts, and may I always be such a man (God helping me)!!
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