"Dear Mrs. Young"

 I have been told that, if you want to express regrets to someone who has passed on, write them a letter.  I can't bring myself to do that because, theologically speaking I do not believe the Scriptures teach that the departed can hear or see us.  Therefore, instead of privately writing a "Dear Mrs. Young" letter as if I'm speaking TO this wonderful woman, I'm going to write ABOUT someone I know as "dear Mrs. Young," who, I just learned last night, died 15 years ago.  And I'm going to make it public because this woman of great stature deserves to be remembered publicly.

The obituary I saw identifies her as "Ms. Wood" of New Hampshire, but several of us knew her as "Mrs. Young" here in New Jersey.  From 1969-1971, she was my Guidance Counselor / Social Worker at Arts High School in Newark.  I came from a very troubled home situation (alcoholic step-father) and, at age 14, I was assigned by the school to meet with this wonderful, compassionate woman who was three times my age. Mrs. Young didn't SAY much to me that I remember, but she listened very well...in my mind I can see us sitting in her office, she would knit (looking down at her knitting) while I spoke and she just LISTENED a lot.  She was "there" to hear things I never told any other adult at that time...my first girlfriends at school, my sadness at the sudden death of my uncle, my pain regarding my dad leaving and my abusive step-father, and so on.  You could see the motherly empathy and sympathy on her face from time-to-time as she patiently listened. At that point, she was the only adult in my life who DID listen, but when she spoke, well, her words were always words of encouragement, wisdom and compassion.  She assured me that I wasn't "queer" because I cried when I was sad, as my step-father and dad thought. And I remember how I asked her to lie for me to get me out of a bind at home, as school was ending for the summer in 1970. Though she understood the dilemma I was in, dear Mrs. Young gently refused to lie for me.  Up until that point, I had never met someone who would refuse to lie, you see and her character impressed me beyond belief.

I regret to say that I did something very, very wrong to Mrs. Young in 1971 and she (correctly) had me switched to another Counselor.  A few years later, 1975, I became a Christian and Mrs. Young, by that time, changed her name to Wood and moved to New Hampshire. I read last night that she became head of the NAACP up there, and I'm not surprised...she was an extremely intelligent, articulate LEADER of great integrity! Anyway, I wish that after I'd become a Christian in '75 I'd have tried to contact her and apologize to her for what I did in '71.  I'd tell her how JESUS has forgiven me but I need to ask HER forgiveness, TOO.  For some reason, I went to many others to ask forgiveness EXCEPT for her, you see.  Family members first, yes but I should have sought her out AFTER that.  I wouldn't be surprised if, in all those times she was knitting with her eyes down Mrs. Young was silently PRAYING for me in her mind, as she listened.  A few weeks ago, I came across an old Arts High yearbook and saw her photo (above), and that's what prompted me to track her down on the internet and learn that she'd passed in 2004.  If she were still alive, I was hoping to have a chance to FINALLY tell her, by letter, I was so sorry for my actions all of those years ago, you see.

Above: A photo of Charlotte W. Wood, my "Mrs. Young", as she spoke in a New Hampshire church the year before she died.  I got the photo from the internet last night. She was speaking admiringly of Dr. King, but, according to the internet account said she was not able to attend the March on Washington because she was tending to a sick relative at the time.  See, there's her CHARACTER again...most people would have "stretched the truth" and said that they WERE at that historic event, 40 years after the fact! Not Mrs. Young.



I'm usually not a procrastinator but I deeply regret not telling Mrs. Young I was sorry when she was alive to hear me.  There's a good LESSON in there, people!! If you need to say something DON'T wait!!

Perhaps up in HEAVEN I will have a chance to apologize to "Dear Mrs.Young" (as I will always know her.), but if I'd been able to apologize to her before she died, I firmly believe two things.  1.) I believe she'd remember ME, and, 2.) I also truly believe she'd have FORGOTTEN the OFFENSE.  This is who she was, and this is why I thank God for the privilege of ever having my life touched by this amazing woman that I will always love, and never forget.