"To Older White People"

A well-meaning, white cashier made a racist statement about my (black) wife recently, not even realizing it at first. She was an older woman and was only trying to be friendly, but her words could have been catastrophic if my wife didn't have the good-natured GRACE that she does. I'm thankful for two things: A.) For a wife who is not easily offended and who graciously let ME respond, and B.) For the opportunity it gave me to publicly PRAISE my wife!! Here's what happened...

The cashier told me that my wife "looked like Whoopi Goldberg" which, to us, was an insult of the racist "They-All-Look-Alike" variety. This comment had no CONTEXT, it was meant to be an "ice breaker" as the cashier was checking us out, but what an unwise way to start a conversation with an interracial couple you don't know!! (Better to tell a cornball joke like "The alarm on my new iPhone is so easy to set, I can do it in my sleep" * to make chit-chat than to say what THAT cashier said!!) My wife was silent but that gave ME a chance to (calmly) say "Number one, my wife's a WHOLE lot smarter than Whoopi and number two, she's FAR more beautiful."

The cashier realized, from that, how she'd come across and apologized. That's the end of it as far as we are concerned, but I wish people would (if they MUST comment on people's appearances) ***THINK*** before they speak!! Just because my wife had her glasses on and is wearing braids at the moment does NOT mean she looks like Whoopi!! And just because WHOOPI is black and so is my wife, that does not mean that either of us will find the comparison flattering!! But if the lady thought that, and obviously she did, she should have KEPT it in her thoughts. Reminds me of the older (white) lady who recently told my wife that "I'll bet you can sing real good," for no other reason, apparently, than than she's black and the lady assumes that ALL black women can sing real good. (My wife sings GREAT, by the way but that's not the point!!)

And then, there are the assumptions we've heard about WATERMELONS (again, courtesy of older white folks). I could go on and on, but you get my drift. My wife has a very friendly demeanor to EVERYONE but that does NOT give people the right to thoughtlessly say ignorant things and still assume they'll get a friendly response.

Older white people, like you I'm amazed to see how HYPERSENSITIVE people are today, and I dislike those politically correct "snowflakes" as much as anyone. Yes, too many people ARE too easily offended now, but that doesn't free us from the responsibility to do our best NOT to say possibly hurtful things. My wife and I are NOT of the mindset that the folks who said the things described necessarily ARE racists, but we do think they need to learn this basic truth: just treat black people like anyone else if you want to be friendly. There is no need to make risky comparisons to celebrities, or to speculate on food preferences, or musical talents, with total strangers. Equally bad are those who clearly try to give special treatment to minorities...I recently saw a (white) cashier give a discount to a (black) customer that was not allowed to white people in line behind him. Yes, SOME folks will revel in this favoritism but most just want to be treated like anyone else...no better, no worse.

And SOME folks wouldn't have the grace my wife has...if they were racially insulted by a cashier as my wife was, they would sue the store in a heartbeat...the ol' "Shake 'Em Up, Shake 'Em Down" routine. So dear older white people, I urge you...if you don't care to think before you speak for the OTHER person's sake, do it for your OWN sake. Yet I hope "The Golden Rule," that is, "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you," will have sway with ALL of us. Amen!!




*Yes, that's an original joke, Lol!! And that's Whoopi Goldberg, NOT my wife, in the photo!!