"I Was a Teenage Racist"

My wife urged me to blog about this after I shared with her (again) just yesterday. So the first thing I want to say is that I'm well aware some think I'm a racist NOW, at age 65, because (for example) I support President Trump...but that's just an accusation I'll have to live with (Lol). No racist could POSSIBLY be as saddened as I am, seeing the racial hatred coming from some on BOTH sides these past few weeks.

In November 2018, when Stan Lee died, I wrote to one of the New York papers about him and told a bit of how I was surrounded by racists in my life at age 12 (1967), and how God used STAN to help me not go down that path. Here's that letter, as printed, for those who've never seen it....

There was much  more I could have said in that letter, but it was FAR too personal to put in a newspaper. So, here in my BLOG now, I want to cover the years 1968-1970, ages 13-15, and identify OTHERS that God used to help me overcome the sin of racism even before I became a Christian. At age 13 (1968), I was finishing up Junior High a year after the riots in Newark, NJ (where I was born and lived.) Black kids routinely threatened me, stole my money and property and harassed me like they did OTHER white kids. I, personally, was very passive...not a fighter, an easy victim. I lived with my mother and step-father and they were filled with hatred towards blacks. I stayed out of school for weeks in '68, faking illness, because the white teachers let the black kids run wild, and they'd harass me and other whites while the teachers did nothing.  But funny, it was even worse when I stayed at HOME with my STEP-FATHER (who was also abusive)....somehow THAT was "okay" with mom, Lol!! When it was time to go to High School, I was supposed to go to BARRINGER High where race riots were aplenty. My mom and my teacher, a white guy, helped me get into ARTS High despite failing grades from non-attendance at school. because 1.) I had artistic talent and 2.) Arts was a MAGNET school, so the kids who went there were interested in LEARNING, not in FIGHTING or RIOTING. I may be wrong, but I think Arts High was the most prestigious High School in Newark, at least back then..

In my first days at Arts, my homeroom teacher was an old white man, Mr. Chimacoff. He died suddenly after a few days, running to catch a bus to school, and a black woman became my homeroom teacher. I was so afraid of having a BLACK person as my teacher, I actually went to the (white) principal and asked him to switch me to a different class, one with a WHITE teacher again!!  Thankfully, he refused.  I then had some sort of problem with my locker, and a black girl in my class named Chanda Young offered to let me share hers until mine got fixed. Did she reach out to me because she saw I had racist tendencies, and didn't want a black homeroom teacher?? I don't know, but I'm sure glad she did. We became friends to the point that I playfully-but-inappropriately patted her butt one day and she got very MAD at me. I apologized, she forgave me, but I respected her GREATLY for the way she stood up for her dignity. Frankly, this was UNlike the white girls I grew up around who had Zero self-respect and yet thought that all whites were better than all blacks.

Chanda and I talked freely about race relations and I got to see how many black people view many WHITE people...THE most valuable lessons I ever learned at that school, frankly. Though Chanda had a boyfriend, I began to fall in love (as much as a 14 year old CAN be "in love" with someone) with her. As for the black GUYS in my class, the fact that Bill Cosby's new TV show had him cast as a character named CHET was a bridge-builder to the black GUYS, who accepted me and called me "Chet Kincaid" as a term of endearment. I retained my OWN identity, yes, but the guys accepted me for who I was, and vice versa. Some were CHRISTIANS...the first true Christians I ever met...and they were VERY different from the kids who harassed me in Junior High. I cannot recall one time someone at Arts High threatened me or stole from me or was involved in violence towards me or ANYONE. Meanwhile, I still lived at home with my racist parents who were wondering why, when I was 15 (this was 1970) I had no girlfriend yet. Fact is, I certainly DID have a girl I at least WISHED was my girlfriend, but I couldn't tell THEM that because she wasn't "of my own kind." They actually thought I was GAY because I could never tell them of my feelings for you-know-who, Lol!! I began to rebel about the lies they'd told me about "all black people" (and about ME being GAY) because now I had seen for myself "the other side." Just like there were good and bad WHITES, the same is true regarding OTHERS. We are all ONE race....the HUMAN race.

In May 1970, I participated in a protest for students slain at Kent State University (see my blog for May 4th of this year regarding more on that.) The VICE principal of Arts High, a black woman, Mrs. David, expelled me from school and when I returned, I had to see a counselor, Charlotta Young (no relation to CHANDA Young.) As school ended for the summer in June 1970, Chanda (the girl I was secretly in love with) promised to write me (there was only snail mail in those days) and I was happy, but concerned. If my parents ever saw "C. Young" with a black neighborhood as the return address on a letter addressed to me, they would KILL me...(especially my crazy step-father who was abusive to me ANYway.)  I begged Mrs. Young, my Social Worker, to lie to my mom (who she was in contact with about the constant violence from my step-father in my home situation) and say that SHE was the "C. Young" who was going to write me. My mom would have APPROVED of that because she thought Mrs. Young was "one of the good ones."  Mrs. Young refused, she said she would like to help me, but could not lie for me.  I respected her greatly for that. Amongst my white relatives and friends, I never knew anyone who would not LIE for me before.

         Above: Mrs. Young.  To see my blog about HER, check out July 13th of last year.

I could go on and on adding to this, but here's the point...in Junior High, I was a racist, under racist influences from whites and subject to abuse from certain black kids who REINFORCED the racist things I'd been taught about all black people. In High School, I met MANY black people who treated me kindly, who displayed self-respect and integrity, who BEFRIENDED me, and who even cared enough to DISCIPLINE me (as in the case of the Vice Principal, who gave me what I deserved where I needed it.) I never endured any abusive treatment from the kids at Arts High like I did in Junior High. Yes, I was a teenage racist, but the actions of others (the first real CHRISTIANS I had ever encountered) helped me see a better way, that all people should not be lumped together in a stereotypical manner. What LESSONS are there, in this long testimonial?? Here are a few.

1.) Maybe there are racists YOU know of...white OR black racists.  Instead of writing them off, saying you don't care what they think (as I heard someone say recently), try REACHING OUT like the kids at Arts High did (like STAN LEE did, to MILLIONS). At the very least, PRAY for them.

2.) I am greatly concerned to see younger white people go to the OTHER extreme, here in 2020. Fifty years ago, the "common" thing to do if you were white was to devalue black people.  Now, younger whites are being taught to hate THEMSELVES for their "white privilege." Just as wrong!!

3.) I know of a white person who apologized to all black people recently and then added in "But I can't possibly know how you feel." It's a lie. If you live in the suburbs and are old enough, go live in the HOOD for a year.  Even since I've become a Christian, I periodically go to gatherings where I'm the only white person and it's a GOOD thing to see how it is to be a minority, you CAN know how others feel if you really want to. Stop saying you "can't" and admit "you don't want to." And...

4.) If there are any POLICE-HATERS here, it is 100% wrong to condemn all police for the actions of a few, just like it was wrong of me to hate and fear all black people because of the actions of a few. The words of Jesus are so helpful here..."Do unto others as you'd have them do to you."

5.) All of us...Jesus said LOVE YOUR ENEMIES. My first wife, who passed away three years ago, was white and we had three kids who have each married inter-racially. My SECOND wife is a BLACK woman. I could have grown up to be an ADULT racist if God didn't use those who implemented the Christlike principal of "love your enemy" in my early life. "Love your enemy" like my friends in Arts High did....you never know how God might use YOU to make the world a LITTLE bit better of a place!!